About business, reviews and taking s***t personally….

It’s been a tough week, not only for me but for some of my friends. My husband has been really sick, we’re trying to make a bunch of decisions while neither of us are feeling well, physically or emotionally, and we’re tired.It’s been tough and then this morning I got to my desk and I saw a review someone wrote regarding one of my books…

Ouch. It wasn’t pretty.

Being in business, specifically being in business lobbying, taught me a very valuable lesson that I’ve taken through to my writing career.

Don’t take “stuff” personally.

Men are so much better than this than woman are, we take everything to heart…frequently when its really not necessary. It’s hard not to do, especially when you feel like you are fighting an attack from all corners. Men are able to see differentiate the issues and say this is about the issue not about me and it’s a trait that I think woman can learn from men.

I’ve learned that a criticism from my editor or agent or a bad review is not about me, about who I am, it’s about my work. Two totally separate issues. Yes I put myself into my work but its not the sum total of who I am. Any issue to do with my work is not all about me.

And that’s hard to remember when I am feeling tired or my kids are sick or I’m fighting with my husband. It’s hard not to feel personally slapped when you are taking strain in other areas of your life.  When I am feeling fragile it’s really important for me to look at the issues clearly and separate them, to remind myself that the person criticizing my book does not know me and is judging what she is reading, not judging me. And there might be a million reasons why she didn’t like my book; it might have pushed a button for her, she might just think it’s a crap book. That’s okay. I made the choice to put the book out there in the world, I have to roll with the punches. In this case, it’s just business.

And her criticizing my book is no more a reflection on her as it is a reflection on me.

It’s just about the book. One book of sixteen. It’s just business.

It’s just about the book. It’s just business. Every time I say that the sting lessens. And I feel a little more free.

Hugs

Joss

xxx

 

Flirting With the Forbidden- RT Top Pick and on reviews in general

I’m a fast writer and while I dive into every book I write with enthusiasm and fall in love every couple of months with my hero, there are some characters that just grab me by the heart and don’t let go.

Wild About the Man was like that for me and so was Flirting With the Forbidden. And when you put that much into a book, it’s nice when the reviews roll in. I appreciate every review I get, whether it’s a reader sending me a note on Facebook, a blogger, someone who took the time to leave a message of Goodreads. (Except for the man who recently told me that my book was beyond a reasonable level of stupid and where do authors come up with this crap. Guess he doesn’t like romance or my writing…anyway, I didn’t appreciate him much. LOL!)

But in terms of readership, the RT Book reviews are the biggest around so it’s nice exposure when you get a good review, better exposure when you get a Top Pick as Flirting With The Forbidden got in the April edition.

Here’s the  review

Or click here http://digitalmag.rtbookreviews.com?shareKey=HsQGTF

But, and isn’t there always a but…it is just one person opinion, it is fleeting, it’s a nice affirmation (and affirmation is sooooo my love language) but it’s not what makes the world go around.  Awards, reviews, pats on the back are nice but you are only as good as the next book, the next story, the blood you are prepared to spill into your next work. (With apologies to Ernest Hemingway.)

The important stuff is are the connections you make with your readers, your fellow writers, being the best writer, friend, cheerleader for both your readers and your fellow writers you can be.

Keeping your sense of humour and a sense of perspective, keeping grounded and…real.

But, you know, I’ll take a good review over a ‘where do authors find this crap’ any day.

Have a happy day

Joss

xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Open water swimming, panic attacks and the connection to writing your novel

Photo http://www.newcastleadvertiser.co.za

A couple of weeks ago I started swimming training again and yesterday I did my first open water swim since I was 16. It was a fun swim- 500m- and well within my capabilities as I’ve been swimming a kilometer or so most days in training. But you, know, I thought I would start off slow and thank goodness I did. I got into the muddy water, my face went under and boom! panic attack! My throat closed, my chest closed and every cell in my body said that this was a very bad idea. Bad, bad, terrible idea.

I’m not sure why I panicked; it could’ve been claustrophobia from the muddy water, it could’ve been the people…all I knew was that I couldn’t do this. I could not swim with my head above the water (which is seriously energy sapping) and yet I couldn’t give up…dilemma. Eventually I got my breathing under control, managed to get my face into the water and I focused on reaching the first buoy and by then I was in a rhythm and feeling strong. By the time I hit the second buoy I felt like I could carry on for a long while yet.

So (and this is especially for the people entering the Mills and Boon Tempted To Write competition) what’s the connection to writing? Well, I guess it’s writing past those first panicky chapters, resisting the urge to go back and start afresh, it’s about not giving up. It’s about reaching the end despite an ugly start…

Writing takes determination, you need to push through, you need to put your head down and just get the damn thing done. You need to swim/write your way through the mud and the waves and the person kicking you in your side. And then you have to have the guts to go back and do it all again on the second and the third drafts, getting better all the time.

The great thing about writing though, unlike finishing an open water swim, is that nobody takes a revolting photo of you exiting the water, hair plastered against your face, adjusting the top of your swimming costume. Eeep! *hides face in hands*

Best,

Joss

xxx

Modern Tempted Writing Competition!

Do you want to write contemporary romance for Mills and Boon? Do you want a chance to be published?

I’m going to be a judge for the upcoming Mills and Boon writing competition which is mega-exciting! And it’s an excuse to read….yay!

The competition is starting on the 20th January on the Mills and Boon FaceBook page https://www.facebook.com/millsandboon

Head on over there….now!!!!!

Joss

xxx

On Writing First Drafts….

I need to remember this!

Joss
xxx

The most amazing speech on writing…

I adore Kristen Higgins. I watched her speech at the RWA Awards luncheon and tears rolled down my face, from laughter and because she simply touched my heart.

If you’d like to know how I feel about writing, especially romance novels, I don’t need this blog…it’s all here in her speech. If you want to understand me and my writing life, watch this.

Utterly, utterly fabulous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxZBvtw28Xw&feature=youtu.be

 

Joss

xxx

 

How are you writing/working today?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

via. http://www.comicscareer.com/?p=881

Pininterest….

Oh, and that book I was waiting revisions on? Accepted, baby! Wahooo! It’s called ‘The Last man She Should Call’ and will be out in February 2014.

So, because I have the concentration span of a flea, I’ve been playing on Pinterest again. Want to see the inspiration behind my books? Check it out here….

See you there shortly, writes the Queen of Procrastination!

Swift kick, swift kick….

Joss

xxx

 

 

 

Saving authors from a tequila bottle and gnawed on wrists….

There are some days when you just don’t want to be a writer, when the road is too tough, when your characters are misbehaving or not behaving at all! When you don’t think anyone in the world has bought your book, when you are so filled with self-doubt that you feel like finding a bathtub, a bottle of tequila and chewing your wrist off.

Writing is tough. It’s not for sissies. It’s hard to keep motivated, to keep believing, to keep the dream alive.

I saw this quote the other day and I think it’s utterly brilliant and encapsulates the writer’s life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then are days where you get a message like this from someone who has read your book and rescues you from the hole you’ve falling into…

‘Loving it was just a kiss, ‘melt-your-panties’ so funny and hot. Oh to write like you Joss.’ From Jennifer dellaRossi.

Or from my sister- another  Jennifer!- who has just bought my Sexy Duo with Liz Fielding who posted this on Facebook.

‘Proud moment for me today,telling the cashier that Joss Wood is my sister congrats J this will take me back to when I used to read your short stories about hockey tours etc as a kid . Happy days.’

So, if you have a favourite author who you just adore and you think is wonderful, drop them a line, write a review, tell them that their time spent putting black letters onto a white screen is worth it.

You might just save them from a tequila bottle and gnawed on wrists!

Joss

xxx

A year and four books later…what have I learnt

Hi everyone,

At the end of January it will be nearly a year since I got the call from Mills and Boon Riva, accepting my book She’s So Over Him.

A lot has happened in a year and I’m trying to look back and catch my breath.

It was, for me, a turnaround year, one of shocking highs and serious lows. On the day that I got an e-mail from my editor saying that they wanted some last minute changes before they accepted the manuscript, I heard that my older sister had been seriously hurt in a head on car accident. We all waiting for news on her and I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the accident or my new career.

The next six months comprised of daily visits to the hospital, taking her food, keeping her company which took it out of me. She finally went home but she is still in a wheelchair, waiting for a hip replacement.

On the writing front: I was working on my second book and it was a disaster! I was quite convinced that I was a one book wonder and I simply couldn’t get it right. Flo, my editor, suggested that I ditch that book and start on something new. I wrote Wild About The Man in six weeks and loved every second of it.

I was just beginning to feel that I could cope with my day job, two very busy kids and my new writing career when my husband’s family owned textile mill caught fire and wiped out one of their weaving mills. It was a very stressful time for him and for all of us. They are back on track but the knocks kept coming when my husbands cousin, a man he was very close to, drowned while spear fishing off Madagascar.

And I was trying to write. In the mornings, evenings, weekends…while I was waiting to pick kids up from school, in doctor’s waiting rooms, waiting for meetings to start. By the end of the year I was flirting with burnout…utterly exhausted.

So, in the anniversary month of getting the call from Mills and Boon, I had my fourth book accepted for Riva/Kiss. Not too bad for a rookie writer, huh?

So, what have I learnt?

Shoo! Lots! I’ve learnt that I can actually write books that people enjoy, that writing feeds my soul and makes me happy. I’ve met so many more people on-line that I have greatly enriched my life. I’ve learnt that my fellow romance authors are a funny, wise, kind bunch of people who are just like my girlfriends at home.

I’ve learnt that I have more determination and guts than I actually thought I had. There were many times over the past year when I wandered whether this road was one I wanted to be on but I know now that writing keeps me sane.

I’ve learnt to ask questions, to ask for help. And when you do ask, people will help!

I’ve learnt to say no. With so much on my plate, I’ve had to say no to lots of things. Friends, causes, projects. And you know what? The world didn’t stop.

I’ve learnt to recognise stress in all its insidious forms and to recognise when to step back from my life and re-organise. I’ve learnt to be kinder to myself.

And that every choice I make has a consequence. That I am designing my life and it’s good. With all it’s craziness, it really is fantastic and I am so blessed.

I hope you are too.

Best wishes for a magical 2013!
Joss
xxx